Thursday, November 27, 2008

pennies from heaven

So, friends, I've been talking to God alot on the topic of how my attitude is throughout the day. It can be a trying task to keep my focus where it needs to be in every moment. I found this to be true especially today of all days: Thanksgiving Day. I found myself murmuring while sitting in the living room of my Grandparent's house. I felt very lonely while the grown-ups sat around the table eating and I had been booted to the couch to eat by my lonesome. Neither one of my sisters were able to make it to Thanksgiving lunch in Warwick for the first time in twenty years which saddened me. Things felt so out-of-place! I found myself mad at them for going to visit their in-laws. And leave it to the never-ending remindings of the Holy Spirit to tell me this was supposed to be a day of thanks. Why was I having a continual pity party when in reality, I am blessed with far beyond what I deserve? It breaks my heart to know I was taking things for granted for the simple fact that Thanksgiving Day didn't "feel right" with no cousins and sisters. I told the Lord I was sorry for my attitude. I just continued talking to Him and realized that I spend so much of my time finding ways to complain! How utterly lame! Where has my fresh joy gone?? Everyday is like a bank account and time is our currency. I don't want to waste my time nitpicking away in little situations. I want the Lord to remind me constantly how precious my time really is and how life really does mean so much. I want to repeatedly be reminded of the death of Jesus for my sake....to be taught to count the days and make the days count....